The problem with life - i dont know if you've noticed this - is that just as you approach a goal, someone moves the goal posts. In school, i wanted to be mistaken for a loner, someone different from everybody else. This could be achieved, II learnt, by growing my hair Long and wearing a pair of torn jeans would give that look. Unfortunately, the same elf had whispered in the ears of a few thousand others and all of us loners who wanted to be different wore our hair long and our jeans torn.
We looked like a scene out of a badly edIted war movie. Then came a period when the received wisdom was that you had to have a beard to be macho. Look at Hemingway, they said, although it was difficult to looK at a man who had been dead for decades.
Anyway, i begAn the project in pursuit of the hirsute. After living through Many months of jokes and shakes of the head i had the beginning of the start of the commencement of a beard when a new campaign informed us with great authority that potential brides preferred clean shaven men.
And then it hit me. i was going about it the wrong way. Forget the six packs withouth which no man is consider complete ; after All stomach muscles are just stomach muscles. Forget the hair which may or may not co-operate with the incipient of a bald patch. Dont run towards the goalposts, make the goalposts come to you
And thats why in the recent weeks ive been working really reaLly hard on my new goal, get a pot belly. Similarly with this lifestyle sedentary non exercising, fatty food can be helpful. The beauty of this scheme is that its easy to get and you dont have to try so hard. After all who wants to be told by some musguided spin doctor that girls prefer clean shaven six packed filled men? Take the choice out of the equation and pass the butter =)