2.0

So i had this thought about taking this blogging thing a bit more serious. And to start off with, i'm thinking i'll start introducing it on twitter more often to expand it out a bit. So hopefully for every post i write i'll be tweeting about it soon after. I was thinking about adding other blogs on my post to help them get more recognition, i'll be putting up their links at the end of my posts if i find something nice to read.

To continue, if this whole idea works out and this blog gets a better audience, i'll be incorporating twitter even more then. What i mean is, at the end of a blog i'll ask you to suggest topics or my views on a certain subject through twitter, of course i'll put my username for you peeples. You could even send me your blog for me to publicize and review in my own. Speaking of which, i will be trying my best to put at least one post a week, maybe 2 if you're lucky. With college started i have only 1 free day to chill and i would actually rather sleep than stare at my laptop clicking away, but i'll see how it goes.

On another note, college was damn fun. I met new friends and i have an internship soon. It's a paid internship as well so hopefully i can save up for some fun later, right now i'm crammed up with work. I've started working on some music as well, got a small dubstep tune set already maybe soon a track will be available for you all to hear, i'll put a link when it happens.

I was told long back that if i put my mind towards something i can get it. Like if i really wanted to go somewhere, i'll get there. It's what i've been told so many times and why i bring this up is because i believe there are so many talented writers out there who are much better than me but aren't tapping into that potential because of their own reasons. If you think you can't do it, then well you're not going to be able to achieve anything with that sob story attitude. So put your mind to the test and try out different things, push yourself to the limit and never think you can't do something. I thought i'd never be able to speak in front of a crowd and i won both the elocution and the emcee award in my school. This is after everyone said i was and at speaking and i'd never amount to anything. I put my mind to it and you should too. Take chances and make mistakes, you'll never know until you try.

So that's all for today, i have to write a post about the innocence of a child soon because i had this experience last night at a restaurant that made me feel all warm inside. Before i forget, check out Parichay Swarup's blog - http://stopthinkandunderstand.blogspot.in/ He has some really interesting things up there, have a look at it, maybe you'll find the post about me too.
My twitter is @person02, if you have a twitter account and you want me to either review or if you have a suggestion for me, tweet it. (Right now i feel so famous but maybe it'll all work out soon)

Till next time brochachos (thats bro and muchacho)
PEACE on the STREETS, san

Beautiful

I'm just so fucking depressedI just can't seem to get out this slumpIf I could just get over this humpBut I need something to pull me out this dump
I took my bruises, took my lumpsFell down and I got right back upBut I need that spark to get psyched back upAnd in order for me to pick the mic back up
I don't know how or why or whenI ended up this position I'm inI'm starting to feel dissin' againSo I decided just to pick this pen
Up and try to make an attempt to ventBut I just can't admitOr come to grips with the fact that I may be done with rapI need a new outlet
And I know some shit's so hard to swallowBut I can't just sit back and wallowIn my own sorrow but I know one factI'll be one tough act to follow
One tough act to followI'll be one tough act to followHere today, gone tomorrowBut you'd have to walk a thousand miles
I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humorEverything's so tense and gloomI almost feel like I gotta checkThe temperature of the room
Just as soon as I walk in, it's like all eyes on meAnd so I try to avoid any eye contact'Cause if I do that then it opens the doorFor conversation, like I want that
I'm not looking for extra attentionI just wanna be just like youBlend in with the rest of the roomMaybe just point me to the closest restroom
I don't need no fucking man servantTrying to follow me around and wipe my assLaugh at every single joke I crackAnd half of 'em ain't even funny like
Ha! Marshall you're so funny manYou should be a comedian, god damn!"Unfortunately I amI just hide behind the tears of a clown
So why don't you all sit downListen to the tale I'm about to tellHell, we don't gotta trade our shoesAnd you ain't gotta walk no thousand miles
Nobody asked for life to deal usWith these bullshit hands we're dealtWe gotta take these cards ourselvesAnd flip 'em, don't expect no help
Now I could've either just sat on my assAnd pissed and moanedOr take this situation in which I'm placed inAnd get up and get my own
I was never the type of kidTo wait by the door and pack his bagsI sat on the porch and hoped and prayedFor a dad to show up who never did
I just wanted to fit inEvery single place, every school I wentI dreamed of being that cool kidEven if it meant acting stupid
And Edna always told meKeep making that face and it'll get stuck like thatMeanwhile I'm just standing thereHolding my tongue tryna talk like that
'Til I stuck my tongue on that frozen stop sign poleAt 8 years oldI learned my lesson then'Cause I wasn't trying to impress my friends no more
But I already told you my whole life storyNot just based on my description'Cause where you see it, from where you're sittinIt's probably 110% different
I guess we would have to walk a mileIn each others shoes at leastWhat size you wear? I wear 10'sLet's see if you can fit your feet
In my shoes, just to seeWhat it's like, to be meI'll be you, let's trade shoesJust to see what it'd be like
To feel your pain, you feel mineGo inside each others mindsJust to see what we'd findLook at shit through each others eyes

4 years

Y'know how some people say ' let them go, and if it's meant to be, they'll come back ' ? Well, in a way, that happened to me. So this is a story of a girl...

I'm gonna be professional about this and not mention her name, so let's call her Kate because i like that name. So in 9th i was quite the awkward turtle. I never really hung out with 'girls' and when i did i was really dumb, but cute dumb like ' awwwww what an idiot ' So i kinda stayed away from them. In that summer, i went to India to chill out with family and i realized i had some holiday homework. I didn't really want to do it because come on, it's the summer, don't spoil it by giving up homework. So i thought about asking people for help. And Kate was the first on the list and i thank God she was. She didn't really scan the work and send it to me, she wrote the guidelines all over again and inboxed in on facebook. That, for me, felt like she was SO interested in me mainly because she actually took the time out to type out the guidelines for someone she hardly knew. Days and weeks went by and we talked a lot. I remember the first time i called her, it was so weird. But like we've said countless times, weird is good. I regret saying this on a blog but i asked her out on facebook and for 2 reasons i got rejected, one because well, it was facebook... and two Kate believed that if we dated and broke up, we wouldn't stay such good friends. I thought the second reason was more lame than the first. I think i asked her to be my valentine also and she said she couldn't leave the house so that bombed too. Yeah, i sucked.

Kate liked me, but was always afraid to take the step because she didn't want to lose our friendship. She was more focused on studies.She was quite the academic girl, always studying. Whenever she said she had to study, i wouldn't bother her because i knew it meant a lot to her. I gave her space whenever she needed it but it annoyed me because i could never meet her or spend time with her. Finally in 2013, this cute little munchkin (me) got what he wanted. I asked her out and she said yes. It lasted for a short time, but readers, that short period of time was bliss. We had a really bad fight, but because we were such great friends before, we worked it out. It didn't matter who was right, we would fight all night but we kept the deal ' Never go to bed angry ' We made our compromises and we fixed it. Sorry, saying 'we' again and again makes me feel fuzzy. Anyway, I can't get into the details of it because i'm sure if Kate reads this, she'd kick my ass, but let's just say she was everything i needed. I was going through a rough patch back then and she picked me up. She brought me solace, she gave me unconditional love.

I don't know if i'm over selling this so i'm just going to make this clear. Kate was simply amazing. I love her smile, her innocent eyes, her temper when i touch her hair, her stupid stupid sarcasm, her feel good aura and especially for being there when others weren't. There have been times where i just got so angry with my life, the only person i could talk to was her. There was this one time where i got pissed at her and to calm down, i talked to her again. I only wished we were together from the start. When i was supposed to leave Dubai, i asked Kate to meet me. It was around 11 in the night and she was at a friends house. I told her to meet me for at least 5 minutes and she kept saying no. I ran about 15 minutes to where she was and she was walking away. She told me her friends sister is coming and they can't see us together (indian family problems) So she said have a safe flight bye. I walked like a few feet down and sat on the pavement. I was supposed to meet la familla in about 30 minutes and i wasn't in the mood to go home. I got a message from her asking where i was and later she found me. Again, i can't get into the details of it, but those 15 seconds she spent with me was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. She sent a nice long message when i left Dubai. When i got back for about 3 weeks, i met her only twice. The first time, all we did was walk around and talk and i can't believe this myself, but it was such a great time. The 2nd time i met her was the day before i left and the horror dawned on me, she took me shopping with her friend. She got bugged because i came late and she was kinda grumpy the whole time. But when i was leaving she gave me a hug and i left. I really like her hugs.

Anyway, this is really long so i'll stop right here. We're best friends now, nothing more nothing less and that's actually fine with me because i don't have to go through a heartbreak of leaving her or the other way. Now if either of us dates, maybe there would be a sour pinch, but we'll be happy for each other. She's encouraged me to do things i never thought i would be able to do. If i have a ' good side ' it probably would be because of her. I love you Kate and i miss you a lot. We'll open a restaurant one day, i promise.

Sabbatical

If you're reading this that means you really are interested in my posts because i'm not sharing this on twitter for people to read. A lot of things have happened in my life and i've lost a lot of things. Its not like i've gotten better things, it's just that things have taken a turn for the worse in all areas. Friends, family, my own health and trust in general. I used to have things to hold on to, La Familla for one but in the recent days i now know that me being the glue in it all, if i start to fall apart, who would help these buggers? Once i'm gone, we as a family will break up and i'm done with families splitting, from my friends to my own experience.

I don't know where i'm going or what i've done will be enough for this world. I don't know if i can tell my future kids about how their daddy was the strongest man and that he was immortal (some people will understand this) I don't know if i can be the parents i never had but i'm sure if i ever got the chance to be one, i'll do a lot better than they did. All these movies that depict a child growing up in hostile conditions or in poor conditions and then somehow in life they make it all seems like a fairy tale to me now. I'm tired of living like i was a legend and i'm tired of letting people down.

If there was anyone out there who knew me it was Leander Dias and he knows i've never given up, so i hope he doesn't read this. And for those that don't really know me, i'm not one to step down from a fight but the going got tough and until i see some reason to get up from this fight, i'm sure i'm going to stay down.

I dreamed of a day they all would call me a fighter. I dreamed of a day where i could stand tall and instead of looking down on others and making fun of them, i'd help them up. I had a dream where i was everything i wanted to be, but in the end folks, it is just a dream and dreams are meant for your sleep. I don't want this message to discourage you to give up. I'm not saying this is where you quit. I'm saying that if you want to be successful, you have to want it really badly, and not like hey i want to be successful, you have to want it and you have to earn it otherwise you'll lose everything. I tried to earn it readers, i really did try. I'm giving up because i never really wanted it that much. But hey, in my next post i'll tell you how i got up, granted i do get up... So as far as this goes, i'm sorry to everyone i hurt, i'm sorry mom and dad because i couldn't be what you wanted me to be. i'm sorry Adrian i could never touch the stars with you. I'm sorry La familla for not being there always. I'm sorry A for changing who i was. I'm sorry D for not being good enough.

Bye

La Familla

So in the previous post I wrote a nice long one about Shaun my bestfriend. Well this one is just a brief summary about everyone else in the La Familla gang. To start with, you might ask what La Familla is, well it kinda means The Family which is something Shaun had come up with for all his close friends, like a mafia gang but without the looting, guns, hats and cool car chases. Okay it's not like the mafia at all, but you get what I mean. So let's start with the family members.

 LEANDER DIAS

So Leander was this guy I befriended in 8th grade. I was the awkward turtle in that grade and Lee sat with me the whole year through. He's been there for me all these years and I know he won't turn his back on me ever. He's always pushed me to my limits to tap into my true potential and i'm so grateful for everything he's done for me. Leander, if you read this, i love you so much and i'm going to miss you when i'm gone.

ADI

(Mr. Colgate on the right) Now Adi is a friend that became really close in the middle of 11th. I don't really know how but it probably started when I asked his permission to ask out his ex girlfriend which was a bittersweet thing to do. That's another post altogether. I met him in 9th grade, it wasn't a big class, about 13 kids only and we didn't really talk much either. Anyway, in the start of 12th we started chilling and going out together. Couple of days he stayed over at my house and we had our nights of crazy shit like burning stuff and having our personal talks. I really enjoyed those. He's always managed to make me laugh in every situation. There were nights where i just wanted to hear his voice so i could smile again. As a matter of fact i'm in his house writing this. He's watching 21 Jump Street, that little bastard. Jokes i love him to bits.


CHHIBBER

(He's the ecstatic boy on the right)
Now Chhibber is the guy I hated in 10th because firstly he slapped the living crap out of my batch mate and in a musical we did together he told me, ME, AARON BASIL, to shut up. That pissed me off a lot. Anyway, we met at party and usually I'm with Shaun but he didn't come that day and I knew Chhibber so I stuck with him. Readers, that party I will NEVER forget because we did the weirdest things ever like going up to every woman at the party, winking and saying hey. Needless to say, he's been there for me ever since then. Be it at 6 in the evening or 2 in the morning, he was always there and I'm thankful for that. For a week he stayed at my house and recently for more than a week i stayed at his house. We've had each others back and I hope it stays that way.



KARAN RANGWANI
(I'm in the middle and Shaun's on the right making Rangu on the left, yeah i know i look sexy)
Karan was another friend that bloomed late, I didn't really know him till 11th grade. There was a party Shaun told me about, he asked me to cover for him for a while as a DJ and to help Rangu out. So i went and let's get this straight I have never dj-ed before so this was my first time. After that party, Rangu and I started hanging out and going out with the other members. Soon we became tight and I found out i could tell him anything about my life. He taught me that no matter what the circumstances are, you have to take charge for your own life.

Shaun also is a part of La Familla but i had a huge post about him already so i don't think a brief paragraph would do justice at all.

The next post i write would be a 'draw my life' type like the ones you see on youtube. It's gonna be called Blog My Life. If you blog too, i hope that post inspires you to write your own. Tweet to @person02 about your blog your life and win a chance to meet Channing Tatum, lolz not really.