The Memory Remains

Haley was quite the buttoned up girl usually keeping to herself. Sharing and socializing was not her cup of tea but she had that one friend she would talk to almost every day during lunch in school. Their association was built on the sole fact that they had been science partners 3 years ago and was polished ever since. Now it's become routine to sit at the table in the corner of the lunch hall, just the two of them and talk about other people who gave them looks. It was their little game to make up stories about different students using the small quirks that were predominant in their nature. His name was Joel and Haley loved hanging out with him. His beaming smile assured her of a better tomorrow and when she would look down and laugh it was the single most cutest emotion to him.

Joel's parents had met Haley a couple times and thought she was very sweet and kind. Not really the talkative type but it was something they managed with because Joel was happy being her mouth, always boasting of her art skills and mainly her blessed voice which she only serenaded Joel with. Joel loved every bit of her, her dark black hair, her passion for art, her angelic voice when she lulled him to sleep on the phone. Everything about her made him more interested in her. It was his curiosity that got the better of him, but that's later on.

Joel wanted to know more and more about Haley, he couldn't stop thinking about her day and night. One such day when they were lying on the grass, she started to open up to him. When a sentence starts with ' i've never told anyone this before ' you brace yourself because you become the lucky ones to have heard their story. But this wasn't that lucky time.

Keep in touch for the next part, till then

Peace on the streets san

Happiness is a choice.

There are some people who seem to think that happiness is the result of all the right wheels turning at just the right time. You’re walking down the street, find twenty dollars, get a compliment from a stranger, meet the perfect guy or girl (and don’t totally make a fool of yourself), go to your favorite store and get 50% off, etc., etc.
Happiness is a choice. Not an accident, not a charitable gift from the universe. Of course, it’s nice to receive those gifts, and easy to be happy when you do, but happiness is about choosing to see the adventure in every moment, choosing to understand that there will always be a light after the dark, that there is always good in every situation and every person, no matter how grim things may seem.

It’s easy to be happy when everything seems to be going your way, but I think that defining happiness that way reduces it to a byproduct of luck, or an accident, which it is not. In fact, I might even argue that luck is a byproduct of happiness, if I was in a particularly feisty mood.

Some days are good, but there are probably more days that are just mediocre or plain bad, and it’s on those days that the true nature of happiness is revealed. Have you ever met someone who stayed positive, even when they’re having a bad day, and everything that can go wrong seems to be going wrong? If you’re having a bad day, too, just being near someone like that can be uplifting (although for others it is annoying, but that usually just stems from jealousy).People who are able to smile even through the worst of times have learned a very important lesson, the same lesson I stated above: Happiness doesn't just happen.

That’s the key to happiness: choosing it. It’s not an easy choice all the time, and it very well may be the last thing you want to do sometimes. When grief strikes, or when you just can’t seem to catch a break, sometimes you just want to sulk and stay upset, perpetuate the sadness. It’s a natural response, but it isn't a required behavior, it’s a choice. And choosing to be happy will make you a better, stronger, wiser, more long suffering person.

We always have the choice to be happy. Learning to change our attitude is frustrating, but worth it in the end. When we choose to be happy, things tend to work in our favor, and luck seems to be on our side; and even if things don’t happen the way you want them to, if you choose to be happy, you can accept situations for what they are and make the most of life, no matter the hand it deals you.

Thank you M.A.

PEACE on the STREETS san

Become Cool

There are many ways to succeed in life. One way is to become cool. I kid you not, becoming cool is a brilliant path to being successful. Once you become cool, everything falls in place for you. You can end up earning money just like that, you can earn all the respect from people, you can be famous once you become cool. Don't believe me? Let me introduce you to my friends David and Sonny.

So these two were friends in high school and they both wanted to pursue a business course in college. They applied to the same college and successfully got in. Now being in college is a great social stage in your life. You want to do things to impress others and make your name here. Frankly speaking, i believe college is where you actually start your life. David, being the one the no financial problems asks his dad for 35000 dollars. Obviously that's quite a large sum to ask for, so his father said ' Why do you want so much money? ' And David casually replied ' eh papa, i want to buy a nice bike and some clothes and shoes and maybe some cool sunglasses ' His father gave it some though and gave the money in the end. On the first day of college, our hero David rolls in on a big black Harley Davidson, with a leather jacket and shades. In an instant, all the ladies in the college rush towards him ' oh wow what a bike, can we go for a ride? ' David gets the attention he wanted. Now Sonny here sees that he got such a great response by his outlook, he decides to do the same. He goes back home and asks his father ' hey dad, can i have 35000 dollars? ' His father wasn't financially strong like David's so he asks in a shocked manner ' What for? ' Sonny, looking at his feet, says ' i want to be cool ' Without thinking twice, he gets out the belt and gives him a solid beating for thinking like that. Discouraged, Sonny takes his bicycle instead.

We get back to our main man David who has all the ladies numbers by now and meeting them at parties and bars. Sonny although is going to college and coming back home, nothing else in between. At the end of the 1st year, Sonny comes 2nd in class while David struggles to pass. But David has his women and his bike, he continues his journey. 2nd year ends and Sonny drops to 3rd but David is still hovering at the bottom. David doesn't change his plan because the women still want to take rides with him. 3rd year end and Sonny finally tops his class and by some miracle, so does David. At this point, the women still love David but their parents love Sonny because he is a very smart chap.

Time goes by and Sonny is now working at a large corporate firm while Mr Macho is working at a restaurant MIND YOU he still has the bike and is tres cool. Sonny is earning about 80k and David around 20k. We can clearly see here that Sonny has become successful and David has, well, nothing much to be proud about. The idea is your perception of cool. If you believe that being cool is looking good, skipping classes and taking in poisons like smoking and drinking then be prepared to end up like David. Trust me, studying hard and paving your future will make you cool. Davids children won't think he is cool, Sonnys kids will probably look at him and say wow this is my father he is so cool. Going out to parties doesn't make you the CEO of a company, hard work will get you there. I'm not saying hey study your whole life and never relax. Know your priorities, understand that right now as teenagers, your priority is your studies and then your social life. Once you get the first covered, you can afford to take the back seat in life. Don't let social conformity control you, why fit in when you were born to stand out?

PEACE on the STREETS san

The Right Technique

So many of you have goals that you want to achieve but can't seem to get there. You want to be a pilot or a doctor but can't figure out where to start or how to get there. So here is a story that might help you out a bit.

Jimmy wasn't a very bright fellow, and by that i don't mean he was a dumbo, i mean he generally wasn't exposed to many things. So one day he came across the Olympics and he started watching it. Once at a bar he saw the archery category and said ' I wonder why there aren't many people who can hit the bullseye ' A nearby man, John who was a famous motivational speaker in that area, said ' It is very hard to hit that precise point ' Jimmy being quite arrogant said ' How do they do it? ' John replied, ' Well my boy, it takes a lot of practice ' With these words, Jimmy went off back to his neighborhood and became very busy with this whole bow and arrow business. Months later, some kids approached John and said ' Hey, what did you tell Jimmy? He doesn't come out to play anymore because you told him to practice ' Surprised, John went to that neighborhood and found many trees with bulls eyes on them with an arrow right in the middle. It wasn't just one or two trees, there were about 30 trees with the arrow right in the middle of the target. Astonished, John searched for Jimmy to see how much he's grown. He found him there, sitting on a chair, sharpening his arrow. John asked ' How have you become so amazing at this now? ' Jimmy slowly replied in a very dramatic manner, ' Practice sir, along with hard work and determination, i managed to accomplish what Olympians can ' A very proud John said ' Wow, you must have put in a lot of effort and i'm so happy you've reached this far, can you show me your skills? ' So Jimmy, all high and almighty in this stage, took out the bow and the arrow he was sharpening, aimed it at a tree and fired away. Wherever the arrow landed, he just drew the bulls eye around it.

What i'm trying to convey over here is you might have that drive, that passion and the determination to achieve something but you may not have the right technique to do so. You need to identify what needs to be done and do it the right way. If you cheat on a test all the time, you wouldn't acquire any knowledge and therefore making the test pointless. Taking the easy way out is as the name suggests, easy. But it isn't the right way. There is no short cut to hard work, if you want to shoot the arrow right in the bulls eye, start practicing, failing is a step to success, make your mistakes and improve, then you'll have the right technique

Till next time folks,

PEACE on the STREETS san

The Black Balloon

So there was this little boy playing in the mud on the shores of the beach and you know how kids get, after a while they lose their thrill and need to move on to something else. So after this kid, let's call him Jeremy,  was done with the mud, he searched around the beach to find something fun to do. As he scanned around he saw a balloon vendor filling up helium balloons and tying the string to it so it wouldn't fly away. Now we know most kids love balloons, heck i love balloons. So Jeremy ran up to the balloon vendor and said ' hey sir, sir, excuse me sir, do you have a black balloon? ' The balloon vendor, let's call him Robert, said ' Hmm, let me check ' Robert checks his bag and his box for the Jeremy request and finally pulls out a black balloon and he gave it to Jeremy. Now at this point Jeremy was a bit hesitant. He asked Robert, ' but sir, will it fly like the others? Will it fly high like the red blue green and yellow ones? ' This was a very peculiar question which Jeremy asked and Robert was impressed with Jeremy. So Robert replied very calmly ' Little boy, it's not the color of the balloon which makes it fly, it's whats inside ' And then he filled up the black balloon, attached the string and tied the knot. The balloon, as Robert said, was flying up in the sky just like the others. Jeremy was very happy. He took the balloon and ran along.

Now what's the point of this story besides the fact that the balloon was free?
It's what Robert said. It doesn't matter if you're black white tall short thin or fat, what matters is whats inside you. If you're nice and kind, people will love you no matter how you look. I don't know whats your definition of ugly, but you can be that and still have people talk to you normally because of how you are. It's your attitude towards people that make them love you. If your attitude is pathetic then they won't like you and you'll be disliked for that. Again, it doesn't matter if you're black white etc you can still soar high above the clouds if you put in the effort you need to. You can't expect life to hand you success on a silver platter just because you look good. It's whats inside you that will lead you to success. It's your determination, your endurance, your perseverance and your attitude that will help you be successful. So just remember, you can come from any background with any shape and color and still be amazing, you all have that potential to be great, don't let social conformity get in your way.


As promised, your new blog to check out is - http://a-spark-of-insanity.blogspot.in/  It's a real simple and straight to the point blog, i suggest you read it because there are some really interesting stuff in there, so give a read through and make it worthwhile. @person02 for your suggestions and a follow, i'm a weird tweeter.

I hope you liked this story, i have one more which i'll put up either tomorrow or next week titled ' The Starfish ' It's about dragons.
PEACE on the STREETS san

2.0

So i had this thought about taking this blogging thing a bit more serious. And to start off with, i'm thinking i'll start introducing it on twitter more often to expand it out a bit. So hopefully for every post i write i'll be tweeting about it soon after. I was thinking about adding other blogs on my post to help them get more recognition, i'll be putting up their links at the end of my posts if i find something nice to read.

To continue, if this whole idea works out and this blog gets a better audience, i'll be incorporating twitter even more then. What i mean is, at the end of a blog i'll ask you to suggest topics or my views on a certain subject through twitter, of course i'll put my username for you peeples. You could even send me your blog for me to publicize and review in my own. Speaking of which, i will be trying my best to put at least one post a week, maybe 2 if you're lucky. With college started i have only 1 free day to chill and i would actually rather sleep than stare at my laptop clicking away, but i'll see how it goes.

On another note, college was damn fun. I met new friends and i have an internship soon. It's a paid internship as well so hopefully i can save up for some fun later, right now i'm crammed up with work. I've started working on some music as well, got a small dubstep tune set already maybe soon a track will be available for you all to hear, i'll put a link when it happens.

I was told long back that if i put my mind towards something i can get it. Like if i really wanted to go somewhere, i'll get there. It's what i've been told so many times and why i bring this up is because i believe there are so many talented writers out there who are much better than me but aren't tapping into that potential because of their own reasons. If you think you can't do it, then well you're not going to be able to achieve anything with that sob story attitude. So put your mind to the test and try out different things, push yourself to the limit and never think you can't do something. I thought i'd never be able to speak in front of a crowd and i won both the elocution and the emcee award in my school. This is after everyone said i was and at speaking and i'd never amount to anything. I put my mind to it and you should too. Take chances and make mistakes, you'll never know until you try.

So that's all for today, i have to write a post about the innocence of a child soon because i had this experience last night at a restaurant that made me feel all warm inside. Before i forget, check out Parichay Swarup's blog - http://stopthinkandunderstand.blogspot.in/ He has some really interesting things up there, have a look at it, maybe you'll find the post about me too.
My twitter is @person02, if you have a twitter account and you want me to either review or if you have a suggestion for me, tweet it. (Right now i feel so famous but maybe it'll all work out soon)

Till next time brochachos (thats bro and muchacho)
PEACE on the STREETS, san

Beautiful

I'm just so fucking depressedI just can't seem to get out this slumpIf I could just get over this humpBut I need something to pull me out this dump
I took my bruises, took my lumpsFell down and I got right back upBut I need that spark to get psyched back upAnd in order for me to pick the mic back up
I don't know how or why or whenI ended up this position I'm inI'm starting to feel dissin' againSo I decided just to pick this pen
Up and try to make an attempt to ventBut I just can't admitOr come to grips with the fact that I may be done with rapI need a new outlet
And I know some shit's so hard to swallowBut I can't just sit back and wallowIn my own sorrow but I know one factI'll be one tough act to follow
One tough act to followI'll be one tough act to followHere today, gone tomorrowBut you'd have to walk a thousand miles
I think I'm starting to lose my sense of humorEverything's so tense and gloomI almost feel like I gotta checkThe temperature of the room
Just as soon as I walk in, it's like all eyes on meAnd so I try to avoid any eye contact'Cause if I do that then it opens the doorFor conversation, like I want that
I'm not looking for extra attentionI just wanna be just like youBlend in with the rest of the roomMaybe just point me to the closest restroom
I don't need no fucking man servantTrying to follow me around and wipe my assLaugh at every single joke I crackAnd half of 'em ain't even funny like
Ha! Marshall you're so funny manYou should be a comedian, god damn!"Unfortunately I amI just hide behind the tears of a clown
So why don't you all sit downListen to the tale I'm about to tellHell, we don't gotta trade our shoesAnd you ain't gotta walk no thousand miles
Nobody asked for life to deal usWith these bullshit hands we're dealtWe gotta take these cards ourselvesAnd flip 'em, don't expect no help
Now I could've either just sat on my assAnd pissed and moanedOr take this situation in which I'm placed inAnd get up and get my own
I was never the type of kidTo wait by the door and pack his bagsI sat on the porch and hoped and prayedFor a dad to show up who never did
I just wanted to fit inEvery single place, every school I wentI dreamed of being that cool kidEven if it meant acting stupid
And Edna always told meKeep making that face and it'll get stuck like thatMeanwhile I'm just standing thereHolding my tongue tryna talk like that
'Til I stuck my tongue on that frozen stop sign poleAt 8 years oldI learned my lesson then'Cause I wasn't trying to impress my friends no more
But I already told you my whole life storyNot just based on my description'Cause where you see it, from where you're sittinIt's probably 110% different
I guess we would have to walk a mileIn each others shoes at leastWhat size you wear? I wear 10'sLet's see if you can fit your feet
In my shoes, just to seeWhat it's like, to be meI'll be you, let's trade shoesJust to see what it'd be like
To feel your pain, you feel mineGo inside each others mindsJust to see what we'd findLook at shit through each others eyes

4 years

Y'know how some people say ' let them go, and if it's meant to be, they'll come back ' ? Well, in a way, that happened to me. So this is a story of a girl...

I'm gonna be professional about this and not mention her name, so let's call her Kate because i like that name. So in 9th i was quite the awkward turtle. I never really hung out with 'girls' and when i did i was really dumb, but cute dumb like ' awwwww what an idiot ' So i kinda stayed away from them. In that summer, i went to India to chill out with family and i realized i had some holiday homework. I didn't really want to do it because come on, it's the summer, don't spoil it by giving up homework. So i thought about asking people for help. And Kate was the first on the list and i thank God she was. She didn't really scan the work and send it to me, she wrote the guidelines all over again and inboxed in on facebook. That, for me, felt like she was SO interested in me mainly because she actually took the time out to type out the guidelines for someone she hardly knew. Days and weeks went by and we talked a lot. I remember the first time i called her, it was so weird. But like we've said countless times, weird is good. I regret saying this on a blog but i asked her out on facebook and for 2 reasons i got rejected, one because well, it was facebook... and two Kate believed that if we dated and broke up, we wouldn't stay such good friends. I thought the second reason was more lame than the first. I think i asked her to be my valentine also and she said she couldn't leave the house so that bombed too. Yeah, i sucked.

Kate liked me, but was always afraid to take the step because she didn't want to lose our friendship. She was more focused on studies.She was quite the academic girl, always studying. Whenever she said she had to study, i wouldn't bother her because i knew it meant a lot to her. I gave her space whenever she needed it but it annoyed me because i could never meet her or spend time with her. Finally in 2013, this cute little munchkin (me) got what he wanted. I asked her out and she said yes. It lasted for a short time, but readers, that short period of time was bliss. We had a really bad fight, but because we were such great friends before, we worked it out. It didn't matter who was right, we would fight all night but we kept the deal ' Never go to bed angry ' We made our compromises and we fixed it. Sorry, saying 'we' again and again makes me feel fuzzy. Anyway, I can't get into the details of it because i'm sure if Kate reads this, she'd kick my ass, but let's just say she was everything i needed. I was going through a rough patch back then and she picked me up. She brought me solace, she gave me unconditional love.

I don't know if i'm over selling this so i'm just going to make this clear. Kate was simply amazing. I love her smile, her innocent eyes, her temper when i touch her hair, her stupid stupid sarcasm, her feel good aura and especially for being there when others weren't. There have been times where i just got so angry with my life, the only person i could talk to was her. There was this one time where i got pissed at her and to calm down, i talked to her again. I only wished we were together from the start. When i was supposed to leave Dubai, i asked Kate to meet me. It was around 11 in the night and she was at a friends house. I told her to meet me for at least 5 minutes and she kept saying no. I ran about 15 minutes to where she was and she was walking away. She told me her friends sister is coming and they can't see us together (indian family problems) So she said have a safe flight bye. I walked like a few feet down and sat on the pavement. I was supposed to meet la familla in about 30 minutes and i wasn't in the mood to go home. I got a message from her asking where i was and later she found me. Again, i can't get into the details of it, but those 15 seconds she spent with me was probably the best thing that ever happened to me. She sent a nice long message when i left Dubai. When i got back for about 3 weeks, i met her only twice. The first time, all we did was walk around and talk and i can't believe this myself, but it was such a great time. The 2nd time i met her was the day before i left and the horror dawned on me, she took me shopping with her friend. She got bugged because i came late and she was kinda grumpy the whole time. But when i was leaving she gave me a hug and i left. I really like her hugs.

Anyway, this is really long so i'll stop right here. We're best friends now, nothing more nothing less and that's actually fine with me because i don't have to go through a heartbreak of leaving her or the other way. Now if either of us dates, maybe there would be a sour pinch, but we'll be happy for each other. She's encouraged me to do things i never thought i would be able to do. If i have a ' good side ' it probably would be because of her. I love you Kate and i miss you a lot. We'll open a restaurant one day, i promise.

Sabbatical

If you're reading this that means you really are interested in my posts because i'm not sharing this on twitter for people to read. A lot of things have happened in my life and i've lost a lot of things. Its not like i've gotten better things, it's just that things have taken a turn for the worse in all areas. Friends, family, my own health and trust in general. I used to have things to hold on to, La Familla for one but in the recent days i now know that me being the glue in it all, if i start to fall apart, who would help these buggers? Once i'm gone, we as a family will break up and i'm done with families splitting, from my friends to my own experience.

I don't know where i'm going or what i've done will be enough for this world. I don't know if i can tell my future kids about how their daddy was the strongest man and that he was immortal (some people will understand this) I don't know if i can be the parents i never had but i'm sure if i ever got the chance to be one, i'll do a lot better than they did. All these movies that depict a child growing up in hostile conditions or in poor conditions and then somehow in life they make it all seems like a fairy tale to me now. I'm tired of living like i was a legend and i'm tired of letting people down.

If there was anyone out there who knew me it was Leander Dias and he knows i've never given up, so i hope he doesn't read this. And for those that don't really know me, i'm not one to step down from a fight but the going got tough and until i see some reason to get up from this fight, i'm sure i'm going to stay down.

I dreamed of a day they all would call me a fighter. I dreamed of a day where i could stand tall and instead of looking down on others and making fun of them, i'd help them up. I had a dream where i was everything i wanted to be, but in the end folks, it is just a dream and dreams are meant for your sleep. I don't want this message to discourage you to give up. I'm not saying this is where you quit. I'm saying that if you want to be successful, you have to want it really badly, and not like hey i want to be successful, you have to want it and you have to earn it otherwise you'll lose everything. I tried to earn it readers, i really did try. I'm giving up because i never really wanted it that much. But hey, in my next post i'll tell you how i got up, granted i do get up... So as far as this goes, i'm sorry to everyone i hurt, i'm sorry mom and dad because i couldn't be what you wanted me to be. i'm sorry Adrian i could never touch the stars with you. I'm sorry La familla for not being there always. I'm sorry A for changing who i was. I'm sorry D for not being good enough.

Bye